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September 21-25

Words Matter – What Message Are You Leaving?

By Gordon Graham

Gordon Graham here and hello again. Thanks for your continued support of my writings – I certainly appreciate your feedback. I am closing in on three-quarters of a century of life. At this age, every time you forget something or misplace something or stumble upon a word, it’s an alarm bell going off: Is this a sign of cognitive decline?

Not to digress, but I have a close relative who is five years younger who was worried that he might be experiencing the onset of memory issues. He spent quite of bit of money to “consult with a cognitive expert in your state.” He paid his money and set up the Zoom call. The good doctor came on and right away said, “There is nothing wrong with you.” “You have not even talked to me yet!” my relative said. The doctor’s response: “You made the call to me. When your kids make the call, that is when there is a problem!”

There was a time in my career when my mind was extremely sharp. To some of you this will seem like I am bragging – and you are correct. There was a time I could do “a check digit on the VIN” in my head. If you’ve ever been involved in auto theft, that may mean something to you. I got involved in the 17-digit VIN process in 1980 and I was sitting on a task force of smart people trying to figure out a way to stop fraudulent VIN plates being created. So they (not me) built a very clever algorithm into the VIN (and please stop calling it a VIN Number – that is what the “N” stands for – much like the “M” in ATM stands for machine and too often I still hear people saying ATM Machine, but I am digressing).

Back to the VIN calculation. My recollection is (and I could be wrong on this) if you added up the value of all 17 numbers and letters (A is worth 1, B is worth 2, etc.) you will get a three-digit total. Divide that three-digit number by the 10th number of the VIN and the remainder of that division problem will be the 9th number of the VIN. Back in the 80s and 90s, I could do that calculation in my head. Now I have a problem calculating fuel mileage when I fill up my car without using a calculator!

Why am I mentioning this to you? I had a “medical scare” a little while back – it truly scared me big time. Don’t ask me why my brain works this way – but the scare was caused by a doctor’s mistake and it was nearly identical to a mistake made by a deputy sheriff that led to an officer-involved shooting I helped investigate in the early 1980s. Somehow my brain instantly linked these two separate and distinct events.

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I remember the deceased was called “Peg Leg Mayo” – I did a Google search on that and got nothing, but let’s stick with that name for the purposes of this very, very sad story.

He was an American hero – a veteran of the Vietnam War – who had been captured by the Viet Cong and tortured for a long time, confined in a cage that was partially submerged in the water. As a result, he lost his right leg. At the end of the war, he came home and very cleverly designed a wooden leg that was painted red, white and blue. In my investigation I learned he rode a motorcycle specially equipped with an indentation in the brake pedal, allowing him to use his wooden leg to depress the brake for stopping and slowing.

Post-Vietnam, he was living with his mom and dating an unstable woman who wanted to get married to him; he did not have the same feelings for her. In one of her violent rants she said, “If you do not marry me I am going to the sheriff, and I’ll tell them you raped me and you will be back in a cage again.” That scared the heck out of him and he broke up with her.

What is your department policy on leaving voicemail messages when you make a call to someone?

Several days later he came home and checked his answering machine (some of you may have to Google that) and there was a message: “This is the Los Angeles County Sherrif Sex Investigations unit. Please give Deputy Whatever a call at this number at your earliest convenience.”

As you would imagine, that recording scared the heck out of him!

The back story is his ex-girlfriend was true to her word: She filed a rape charge with the sheriff Sex Assault Unit. The involved deputy instantly recognized her from past filings of unfounded rape allegations against other men and he dismissed her as the rambling psycho she was. But that, as I said, is the “back story.” Peg Leg Mayo assumed the message was very bad news and he was scared.

He went to his mom and asked, “If I kill myself will I go to heaven?” She said no. He asked, “If the sheriffs kill me will I go to heaven?” She said, “The sheriffs are not going to kill you.”

But they did, because Peg Leg Mayo created a very clever “suicide by cop” scenario that ended in a long pursuit, which ended up with dozens of law enforcement officers shooting and killing him.

During my investigation I learned that the one of the causes of his death was the voicemail message left by the deputy. As a result of that and other similar incidents, the California Highway Patrol (my department then) changed their policy on phone calls to “Never leave a voicemail unless someone is expecting your call. If people do not answer, hang up and try again later.”

All this brings me to my recent medical scare. At my age I see a lot of doctors. I have an issue that is of great concern to me and I have a blood test every six months to make sure I am still OK. I know I will die someday, but I would like to stretch that as long as I can because I enjoy living. So this issue is a worry in the back of my head.

I was at LAX facing a five-hour flight to D.C. and I heard my phone going off while boarding the plane. When I sat down I checked the voicemail and I heard, “This is Dr. XXX (I did not recognize the name but there are a lot of doctors at the medical office) and please call me immediately – I have an urgent message for you.” I instantly tried to make the call and went through “the phone tree” and finally heard a recording that said they were at lunch and please call back later. The doors closed on the plane and the next five hours were an absolute misery – my brain was convinced it was bad news, much like “Peg Leg Mayo” had thought.

By the time I landed I was figuring out what to tell my wife, my kids, my friends, all the people I work with at Lexipol, my partner Bruce Praet, how to get all the finances squared away, who I was going to give my car to, what I needed to tell my kids about how to sell the boat, etc. By now it was much later and the medical offices were closed, but I have a friend who was my former MD. I called him at midnight and he personally knew the MD who had left me the voicemail message. My friend called the message-leaving doctor at home and woke him up to find out how bad the news was. And guess what this doctor says? “Oh, it is no big deal, but I have not seen him for several years and I would like him to make an appointment.”

Of course the relief was instant – but then the anger started. Why did he just not say that on the voicemail – “No big deal; I have not seen you in a while.” BUT NO – he throws in the “urgent message” nonsense. I am still angry, but that anger is mollified by the fact that all is OK in my body for the time being.

What is the purpose of the above 1,350 words? What is your department policy on leaving voicemail messages when you make a call to someone? Please think the above through so you do not cause someone to do something extremely stupid and unnecessary because of your phone message.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Never forget that as a public safety professional, your words matter.

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About the Author

GORDON GRAHAM is a 33-year veteran of law enforcement and the co-founder of Lexipol. A practicing attorney and risk management expert, he has presented a commonsense risk management approach to hundreds of thousands of public safety professionals around the world. Graham is also a professor in the Master of Public Safety Program at the University of Virginia's Center for Public Safety and Justice, School of Continuing and Professional Studies. He holds a master’s degree in Safety and Systems Management from University of Southern California and a Juris Doctorate from Western State University.

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